Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My doctor told me to stop drinking...Then he told me to stop laughing.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I give myself the best presents.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.