Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Long story short, I love summaries.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
30+ and single? There`s an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat for that.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
Sweating is for people who do stuff.