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Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
This post is just for you.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Its amazing how much more tolerable thanksgiving with the family becomes after the 5th cocktail…
life is short play naked
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.