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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.