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Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.