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Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I`m five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
Is there another word for synonym?
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn`t a very nice postcard to receive.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.