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Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.