Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I`m not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know.
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
Does this couch I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.