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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....