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I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
awesome collection!