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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today