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Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
Not that I expect 100% truth in advertising, but shouldn’t those women in the tampon commercials be wielding chainsaws and burning stuff down, not laughing and dancing?
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.