Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
You have your whole life to be an a$$hole...are you trying to use it all up in one day?
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
I fake my lol`s