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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don`t be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don`t show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.