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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
People: What a bunch of bastards!
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
None of my coworkers get why I have fishbowl with no fish. It`s because fish can`t survive in my secret reservoir of vodka.
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.