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Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.