Daily Silly Status

I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.

My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.

I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".

Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................

Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !

Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL

is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!

How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?

The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.

Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy

"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens

I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand

I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.

Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"