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I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I`m five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
I’m not a comedian. I don’t tell jokes. I just tell the truth in a way it sounds funny.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
Sometimes my life feels like a 40 year long episode of Punk`d...
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.