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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
I do not fail, I succeed at things that do not work.
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.