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I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
That awkward moment when the mosquito is more interested in persistently banging it`s head against the windshield of your vehicle in an attempt to escape your presence than it is in trying to bite you. #feelingunattractive
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of sh!t you don`t need.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?