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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
It was all so different before everything changed.
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.