Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
"nice crocs. where did you get them?" - nobody ever
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?