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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
I have a black belt in leather
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.