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I want rich people problems. Like where to park my yacht.
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
is "insert clever remark here."
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?