Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else`s house.
There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
DIET TIP: donβt eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
Iβm not a βstalkerβ. I want to make sure youβre okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.