Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
I don`t know why they call it Everclear. I drink that stuff and everything is a blur.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)