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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
I don`t know why the Petco cashier gave me this look when I asked for the fish`s Birth date.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude