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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don`t know if I`m kidding or not.
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.