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And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
I remember when vodka was just vodka flavored ...
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.