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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he f*cked off.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.