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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I’m late for a disappointment.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.