Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
I like people the most when I`m by myself.