Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
I think I may be getting harder to love.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.