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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
ItΒ΄s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: β€œAnd so should you!”
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
Was that lightning? ... No, they`re taking pictures for Google Earth.
I`m so good, I scream my own name out during sex.
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers
There is no time to check time
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-