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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
You`re the reason why I believe in condoms.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
That awkward moment when kids see a toy they want on TV but the can`t get it because their parents must be 18 or older.
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.