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How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Didn`t win the lotto again ... send prayers.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
Of all the things life has given to me... I would like to return 20 lbs.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.