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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.