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Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?