Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can`t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."