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Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
Sometimes I wanna copy someoneΒ΄s status word for word and see if they notice.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.