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When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
Nothing says "I`m behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.