Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
I wouldn`t say I "missed" your call.
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.