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I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
My favorite beer is the next one.
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/