Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
The iPhone 5S: Because the NSA wants your thumbprint now too.
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
If your buttcrack is showing out of your pants. I will drop change in it and make a wish.
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`