Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut