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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
I can`t wait to get one of those self-driving cars to watch my wife argue with it.
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
What idiot called it "best man" instead of "lord of the rings"
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!