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"And then I rented a monster truck and drove it through their f*cking house!" - How all my stories would end if I was a billionaire.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I`m possessed by the devil is not funny.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
Kid`s Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren`t allowed to vote.