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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
I`m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
So much to do and so few alibis.
First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes not making any decisions and feeling guilty about asking for blowjobs.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.