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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
I`m sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope that you would shut the f*ck up.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!