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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
The number one key to a successful marriage is alcoholism.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.