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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
Safe words are for quitters.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.