Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
When I become president I will make Monday a part of the weekend.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!