Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
It`s so cold outside I had to put Jack in my Coke to keep it from freezing.
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.