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I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out it’s just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.