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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
Iām going to start telling girls that Iām available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
Wife: Hi honey, did you miss me? Husband: With every bullet so far...
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn`t have waffle cones but they had pictures of waffle cones. That guy was me.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.