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My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
My internet goes out more than I do.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
Holy sh*t! Did you guys know Facebook has a "sign out" button?
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
My body needs a refresh button.